Hi friends,

Hailie was placed with us on June 30, 2022. She was exactly 7 months old, her birthday actually falls on my husband's birthday, and in hindsight, we probably should’ve taken that as a sign.

The investigator who dropped her off said she would likely stay just for the long weekend, since the 4th of July fell on a Monday and court would be held on Tuesday. Birth mom had another child already in foster care with a relative, another clue that hinted Hailie might be with us longer. Still, we told Chloe, who had just turned 4, that this little one would only be with us for a short time.

Hailie has eyes that can mesmerize, a beautiful shade of blue-gray. She had a small amount of whitish blonde hair and looked healthy. But when we sat her on my lap on the floor, we noticed right away that she couldn’t sit up.

As we played with her, we realized she had probably spent much of her life in a car seat or crib. Her muscle tone was very low, and she wasn’t really using her legs. Her flexibility was something I had never seen before. She could sleep with one leg tucked next to her face and the other stretched straight down, like doing a full split.

It’s safe to say she’s been with us longer than a long weekend. Though it looked for a time like she might be returned to her birth mom, that path eventually closed. Choices were made, and Hailie became available for adoption.

Fast forward to March 28, 2024, parental rights were officially terminated. Garon and I were there in the courtroom, but birth mom and dad were not. I walked out of that courtroom and just lost it. It was a wave of joy and heartbreak all at once.

I know that someday I’ll have to walk Hailie through her story, and the loss that's part of it. Having grown up without knowing my birth father, only meeting him when I was 42, I understand some of what she may feel. I can speak to her from a place of knowing: knowing love from the family who raised me, knowing grief and loss, and knowing how complicated it all can be.

Now, more than a year later, we still don’t have an adoption date. No complications, no issues, just the slow grind of paperwork. The subsidy writers and DCFS still have to finalize everything. We do have a status date set for June 17th, and we’re hopeful that will move us forward.

While we wait, I’m choosing to look at the bright side:

1. The state is still covering daycare costs since we’re both working parents and something that would have ended when she turned 3 if she were already adopted. She’s now almost 3½.

2. It’s another opportunity to practice patience.

3. We knew it might take a while, even with Chloe’s case, where we had direct surrenders, it still took 14 months to finalize.

4. She is already ours, to love, care for, take to doctor’s appointments, bring to church, and watch grow up.

5. She’s a fun little sister to Chloe, and Chloe is a wonderful big sis to her.

Stay tuned for the full blog post about Hailie’s story, coming soon.

Thank you for your support and for being part of this journey with me!

With love,
Tracey

Do you know someone that is thinking of fostering? We would love it if you would forward this email to them so they can sign up!